We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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