he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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