Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
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I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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