I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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