We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
