nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
