she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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