Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
