i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
