so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
