i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
