is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
