someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She even gives head with a lisp.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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