I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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