so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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