i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
