I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
