Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
