My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
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