I cockslap morals
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
