I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
