DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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