She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
