I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
A bitchslap is in order.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
