Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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