he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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