hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
