oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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