Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
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