While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Randomize