if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
