just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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