This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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