I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
