guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
