i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
