He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
