now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize