found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
