16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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