If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
wow bdsm is so cute
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
