do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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