I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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