the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
