I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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