What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
4 words: hood of his car
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
