Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
