But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
