It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
