did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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