...so i touched it.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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