I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
