Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
