I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
