Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
