she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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