Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
