Tell her she can't have a vagina
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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