I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
