fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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