your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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