Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize