Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
