I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize