So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
