i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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