I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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