dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
