Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
