You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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